"I have been in a relationship with a wonderful guy for about three months now. I have gotten into the habit of screening potential men before dating them and so I know he is a genuinely good man who I trust completely.
The problem is with a very close friend of his, who happens to be an attractive female our age, we are all 22. Right before he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, she broke it off her with her boyfriend, whom she had been living with and cheated on. Apparently he was not a good man to her and was verbally abusive, controlling, etc.
My boyfriend offered to let her stay on his couch (he lives with two other males and a lesbian) while she gathers herself together and finds a new place to live. He is a sensitive, kind-hearted, and charitable person. I also know he is helping her out of the goodness of his heart, not because he is interested in her.
But it has been several weeks now and she has not made an effort to find a new place to live. My gut instinct tells me that she has feelings for him. On a few occasions she has said to me things like "I always feel like a third wheel when I'm hanging out with you two" or "you two are so cute, I'm so jealous."
I'm sure she observes how he openly adores me and treats me like gold, and I can tell she is jealous of the affection he gives me. I understand she went through a rough breakup but I feel she is taking advantage of the "damsel in distress" situation, crying and confiding to my boyfriend.
I trust he would not cheat on me physically, he has never pressured me to have sex and respects my decision to take things slowly. But something about the situation doesn't feel right to me, like she is falling for him and may try to interfere.
I gently brought up to him that this situation makes me feel uncomfortable and he was very understanding and assured me this was only temporary. However, even if she does move out soon (which she does not seem intent on doing), it bothers me that they are such close friends, and that he confides in her just as much as he does me.
I do not want my own jealousy/discomfort to build up until I explode and ruin the relationship. I feel it is legitimate for me to feel uncomfortable, I am just unsure how to bring it up with him again, since I already have once and the situation hasn't changed.
I used to think it was perfectly acceptable to have really close friends of the opposite sex but every time I have been in a relationship it has caused problems. I want to be compassionate toward her and I wish her the best in fixing her personal problems, but I feel my boyfriend is an inappropriate person for her to be leaning on for so much support.
Overall I am a secure person and I know I have a lot going for me. Everything in our relationship is perfect except for this glitch. He has said he only sees her as a sister but I think she sees him as more than a brother.
It is the thought of him being so emotionally close to another woman, spending time with her, confiding in her, counseling her, etc, that makes me feel threatened more than the possibility of them being physical.
How do I bring this up to him again without seeming controlling, jealous, or insecure?
P.S. I have been studying your online love and seduction course thoroughly and definitely credit that to finding such a good relationship with a good man. I'm confident things will work out the way they are meant to, I just need a little guidance in how to deal with this situation. I'm tired of friends telling me to just "get over it".
Thank you and much love."
My Answer; How to Get Rid Of the Other Woman - Or This Female Rival for Good!
Aaaah, female rivals wanting to steal you man - infuriating, but a piece of cake to rectify :-)
And, since dear heart, you're actually a 'seductress-in-training' and studying the modules of my online love and seduction university, your advantages are obvious!
But there's another advantage, this lovely guy has already chosen YOU as a potential girlfriend... and he's already decided that you're pretty desirable yourself.
I DO know how worrisome and frustrating it can be for a dove to have to compete with, as well as need to SURPASS a female rival who wants her man!
But you need to always keep in mind lovely - that this man chose you first. And, getting rid of the other woman, or eliminating your female competition, is all about using the seduction arts I teach, as well as the art of comparison.
In order to win a man away or off another woman, you have to be BETTER than her, and not just a little bit better - but FAR SUPERIOR than she is!
Through being a member of my love and seduction university, you've already gained a good knowledge of the secret psychology of men, plus the ability to meet such situations, as this one, with enough savvy and confidence to nip this right in the bud!
Moreover, in just a few minutes, you'll understand that repelling your female competition is far easier than you've probably imagined.
Now, it's quite obvious that you feel a lot for this nice gentleman (and I believe he really is a worthy prospect for you.) Yet this other girl is constantly right there -where you want to be!
However, this girl simply doesn't have all the arsenals of seduction and attraction that YOU happen to have, and as soon as your female competitor makes a mistake, any rose-colored glass view that your guy may have of her will slip.
Now, I'll let you in on a few of my seduction secrets for getting rid of the other woman, and the following methods may also require some sort of communication with your rival.
May I also ask you, are you ready to deliberately manipulate the situation?
And, remember too, your female opponent may also be filled with rather unpleasant thoughts about for your feelings. But don't let that ruffle your feathers dove ;-)
But in all fairness, your man and competitor will probably not even get off on the right kind of footing. You see, she probably isn't being very mysterious or fascinating to him, whereas YOU have been learning all the right methods for capturing a man's heart and being adored ;-)
Now, it's time to look at a few specific methods for turning away a female rival/opponent/competitor.....
One method for getting rid of the other woman involves the use of COMPARISON, orcontrast against her. It's the seduction art of contrast that can really give a woman a big advantage over her rival.
Moreover, by using each and every feminine wile you've learned in my course, you'll only be enhancing the effect of your attractiveness, seductiveness and feminine allure to an irresistible level!
To capture a man's heart and be adored, you also have to be more generous than other women with your feminine charms ;-)
So cupcake, offer the one you want more attention, more understanding and more care! Be much more CREDIBLE and self-respecting than your rival as well.
So basically, I'm telling you to give MORE to this man (more, better, higher quality....) than she happens to give.
By following this tips, the one you want will probably start to feel the lack of satisfying female attention and understanding from her. And, so your actions will be met a lot more favorably.
In numerous ways, always make sure that you're giving your guy MUCH MORE than your rival does (*hint; refer to the module "Understanding a Man's Psyche,' and don't forget the golden dating rule about never giving money or gifts to a man!)
However, you must restrain yourself somewhat. And, the more developed a woman's relationship is, the more gifts she can permit herself to give to her man.
Another seduction tip for you is; flood the man with your irresistible presence, then disappear off his radar for a while (like Cleopatra did to Caesar *wink.*)
I tell you, by playing your cards right you can truly have this quite worthy catch eating out of your pretty and well-manicured hands in no time!
Also, in order to help things progress naturally, behave as if this man is alreadyYOURS. Proceeding from this particular premise, you'll always avoid feeling anxious or insecure too.
Ideally, a woman's behavior is always filled with love and care for her chosen one. However, she still needs to throw a little doubt into the pot - by playing hard to getand forcing the man to MISS her!
Also make sure; be ultra-feminine, generous with compliments (ego massage,) and always have a warm and cheerful look on your face.
It's like being an irresistible woman is effortless for YOU, and you go through life with a bright shining allure and smile.
Now, here's an important question; are you always providing your heart's desire with the opportunity to demonstrate his BEST masculine qualities? For this guy must always feel like a strong, masculine and capable MAN - whenever he's in yourbewitching and fascinating presence!
But here's a warning to you; ahem.... don't think you'll need to get rid of the other woman, or compete with your rival by offering your 'services.'
I assure you, THAT never works and is definitely not profitable. moreover, don't destroy your seduction weapon of feminine mystique by thinking you have to give a man sex!
Do all that you can to find out what his major masculine needs are too (the crucial ones I talk about in the course as well.)
Oh... and it also doesn't hurt to find out what a man doesn't want or like. Moreover, a smart girl is always careful to determine what it is 'overdoing.' That brings me to a woman having to avoid SATIATING a man with her charms or presence!
If you follow these seduction tips (as well as all my other advice,) I'm pretty confident that you dear heart will eliminate your competition!
And, by simply adding the right kind of VALUE to a relationship, a man can be quickly and easily won over to a woman's side. PIECE OF CAKE!
Moreover, offering a man this kind of value is even more valuable and expensive that any money could possibly offer him.
Hope you learned something from this article of Melina Dean...very enriching!!!