How to Get Pearly White Teeth

My teeth are even whiter than THIS!! And I smoke and drink soda! =D

User-Submitted Article

Everybody who gives a damn about their appearance wants a great smile! It's important!! Alot of times, this is the first thing you notice about somebody (well, unless they are a "butta-face".. LOL!!)!! Anybody out there, whose teeth aren't stained purple, can get shockingly white teeth ... WITHOUT having to pay a dentist to do uber-pricey laser whitening treatments. There was a time in high-school, when my own damn cousin made a hurtful comment about me having YELLOW teeth! Ever since then, I have experimented with numerous brands of tooth care items, and I have found what works for me.. It is a matter of using the RIGHT products and making the time and effort to use them. Shyt.. I have , I think, 17 cavities. But, you'd never guess that because my smile is sooooo darn WHITE!!

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You'll Need:

Any type of tartar control mouthwash.
Rembrandt Whitening Intense Stain Toothpaste
Crest White Strips
Will power.. (because the best thing you can do is give up REGULAR soda!!)
A few minutes a day to dedicate to your teeth.

1
Gargle, Gargle, Gargle!!! You'll LOVE how much better your mouth feels after you do it, too!
First, you NEED mouthwash! It doesn't have to be the expensive Listerene crap! And it doesn't have to be any special "whitening" junk!! I mean, the main purpose of mouthwash is to loosen up the gunk and tart on your teeth before you start brushing.. The stuff is only gonna be in your mouth for a few nano-seconds, if that.. So go cheap! My favorite is the Equate tartar control sold at Wal-Mart. It even says on the bottle that it is comparable to Listerene! Besides, your gonna need a few extra bucks for the toothpaste and the white strips!
2
BEST TOOTHPASTE IN THE UNIVERSE!!
After you've gargled, you gotta brush! Now, I don't really think it matters what kind of toothbrush you use. Hell, I've brush my teeth with my damn FINGER before! Now I have that fancy-schmancy Sonic Care vibrating toothbrush. But I had a 20 dollar off coupon, so there!! Anyways, what matters is the KIND of toothpaste you use! I know that Aquafresh, Colgate, Crest, etc.. are all soooo popular. And alot of them CLAIM to be "whitening". But I have yet to see any of them popular brands come even close to the results I get from REMBRANDT WHITENING INTENSE STAIN!! This is the ULTIMATE in toothpaste!! I have tried all toothpastes out there known to man kind. Rembrandt stain is the best! It is $7.99 a tube, but SO worth it! Now, brush, brush, brush!!
3
Don't believe the haters and their hype! These will not eat your damn enamel!
Don't worry about "flossing". Yeah, it's something that you should be doing, but do I do it? Hmmm.. Maybe if I eat corn on the cob and there is so much crap shoved in my gums that its driving me insane!! But other than that, NO! Now that your brushing with the RIGHT kind of toothpaste, you will want to look for every opportunity to brush with this "wonder toothpaste"! I use to do it at work in the bathroom if we had "down time". It don't take long.. And hey, your employer SHOULD encourage you to take good care of your teeth if they are providing you with dental insurance! Another important item in increasing the whiteness of your teeth is Crest Whitening strips! These things are little miracle workers! Sure, they are normally 40 bucks a box, BUT there are always coupons out there for 10 bucks off, and you do not have to use these every day. Actually, you WON'T want to use these everyday because they DO make your teeth very sensitive! But, PLEASE, do not worry or freak out! I am SOOOOO sick of hearing people say, "ya'know, I heard them things eat your tooth enamel!" BULL-EFFING-CRAP!!! I asked my dentist about this. HE SAID NO!! THEY DO NOT EAT YOUR TOOTH ENAMEL!! And, no offense, but to every person out there who wants to talk smack about the white strips.. I WILL believe you when you have graduated from dental school and have successfully ran a dental practice in a large community for the last 20 years like my dentist! Untill then, all I got to say is "You and your yellow teeth can flake off!" LOL!! Now, alot of us are busy people and it's hard to find 20-30 minutes in your day where your not flapping your jaws, eating, or drinking. The times that I have found good for putting the white strips in are: 1) when I am at work, and 2) when I am goin' to bed. They are great to have on at work because this way, you will have a good excuse not to partake in any company gossip for a good 20-30 minutes. If your co-workers think your a flake for wanting white teeth... Well, they are probably just dumb-asses (See my other article on "working with white trash"). If you chose to put the strips on when you retire for the evening, keep in mind that you might swallow the strips, or you may wake up with a small toothache. I have done both... And I guess what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, so whatever. Small price to pay for a great smile!
4
Now that we've established the 3 main items required to use daily, the only thing left to discuss is MAINTENANCE! You know your suppose to go see your dentist every 6 months for a cleaning and check up. That's not so bad!! I think the one thing that I do that others are NOT willing to do is give up the REGULAR soda. That's right! I drink diet. Trust me... It is NOT that bad!! I am a caffeine JUNKIE!! I could NEVER give up soda itself! Actually once you get use to diet soda, you will prefer it OVER regular soda! I cannot STAND drinking regular soda! Whenever I do take the occasional sip of it, I can literally feel itty-bitty granules of sugar rotting away in my mouth.. And it will drive me nuts until I go rinse my mouth out! My brother will not give up regular soda and he has major issues with his teeth! Me and my bro go to the same dentist, and he even said that drinking regular soda is wayyyyyyyyy bad for your teeth! Oh, and, yes.. Alot of my "know-it-all" pals have also told me that diet is just as bad for your teeth.. Guess what, a-holes??? Your full of crap AGAIN!!! My dentist said that BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUGAR IN DIET SODA, IT IS MUCH BETTER FOR YOUR TEETH! It's all about the sugar, people! And diet soda has none! (Sorry if any of you innocent ehow readers can sense some of my, uh, frustration... I've just dealt with alot of know-it-alls in my family.. Hahaha!!) Smoking doesn't help matters either, but they just coat your teeth with brown nasty tar. If you visit your dentist regularly, they can usually scrape all of this tar off!